On doctors and bread.

I’m going to just slide right past the fact that I haven’t posted in almost 2 years to tell you about my DOCTOR APPOINTMENT! (This is what draws people to a blog, right?)

Her bedside manner was so good, I didn’t uncover the fact that she was telling me to stop being fat until I analyzed the conversation later.

Doctor: “Are you a party going type of twenty-something?”

Me: “Haha, no, I’m more a Netflix type of twenty-something.”

Doctor: “Haha. Are you a…. fruits and vegetables eating type of twenty-something?”

Me: “….Fruits…..sometimes…”

Doctor: “Would you say you eat a lot of carbs?”

Me: “I LOVE BREAD.” (My actual word for word response, caps were definitely implied. Guys, I love bread.)

Anyway, I think my enthusiasm for bread spoke for itself. What followed was a diplomatic conversation where she kindly implied that maybe I’m on the high end of the weight scale, and maybe not eating so many carbs would be helpful, and haha do you drink soda haha cut that out.  I think she’s forgetting how delicious carbs are and how they increase happiness by at least 300%, but whatever.

Her parting comment to me was how the next time I’m due for an annual, I’ll be thirty. HAHAHHHAHAHAHA.

Look, what I’m trying to say is, I killed my doctor today. Help.

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