The Emmys, because ugh.

I present to you now, a large rambling post where I celebrate and complain about Emmy nominations with no editing, forethought, narrative, order, or true semblance of sense. I expect a lot of sarcastic “REALLY?”, “SERIOUSLY?”, “HONESTLY?” and so forth. Because FEELS.

In the absence of yet another nomination for Michael C. Hall, at least I can comfort myself knowing he was showered with awards for his work in season 4, playing a conflicted psychopath who becomes a father, loses a wife, faces his toughest foe who he also admires for his ability to blend in, struggles with emotions he’s never had, and also beat cancer in real life. OH WAIT THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN BECAUSE HEY BRYAN CRANSTON SELLS DRUGS ON TV.

I’m not saying Bryan Cranston isn’t totally excellent on Breaking Bad. He is. What I’m SAYING is the same goddamn people don’t need to win every year because other people are also acting on the television box. In the best season of any TV show I’ve ever seen. And I’m not sure I can ever mention Jennifer Carpenter NEVER BEING NOMINATED EVER without burning down my office building right now.

And I devoured Downton Abbey as quickly as the next person, but not because it’s the most well written show in the world. Because it’s a soap opera and it’s wildly entertaining. But best drama? When Dexter is on the air? Why has EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT DEXTER? I can concede that since season 4, Dexter has not been in top form, but last season was worlds better than Downton’s emotion-porn filled 3rd season.

Micahel C. Hall has one more year to win, or at least be nominated. So he must. Right? Oh wait, I said the same thing about Steve Carell. Nevermind.

SPEAKING OF. The Office wasn’t nominated for best comedy for it’s truly excellent final season? I mean, REALLY? And Parks and Recreation wasn’t nominated for comedy? SERIOUSLY?! Does the nominating committee even WATCH TV? The Big Bang Theory is amusing at best, boring and pandering at worst. And last time I checked, a TV show that deals with mental illness as darkly as Girls does is NOT A COMEDY. IT’S NOT. A. COMEDY. And I love Girls. I really do. I think it’s excellently written and I like Lena Dunham, but I can count the number of times I’ve laughed throughout its entire run on one hand. Because it’s not a comedy. Also, I love Modern Family, but they had their worst written season this year. Still funny, sure, but not nearly as smart as it has been in the past.

(Side note: The Office WAS nominated for writing for “Finale”, and it really really deserves it. A truly brilliant, funny, heartfelt script. Though I recognize the impossibility of this happening when they’re up against the critic darlings 30 Rock and Louie).

I believe one thing with 100% of my self: no one deserves an Emmy more this year than Amy Poehler. I do believe that Parks & Recreation is the funniest show on TV right now, and she is overlooked year after year after year after year… god knows I love Tina Fey but, you guys, she’s playing herself. Give her all the writing awards you can throw at her, but a better or funnier actress than Amy Poehler she is not.

(I would, however, do Tina Fey first. If we’re putting all of our cards on the table).

In the same category, Jenna Fischer deserved a nomination. I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.

Back to drama, all I’m going to say is we know this year is going to be heavy on the Breaking Bad. Next year will be interesting seeing the last episodes of Breaking Bad pitted against Mad Men’s final season. (On the whole, by the way, I do believe Mad Men to be a better show. Which is not easy for me to say, because they’re both completely excellent).

Speaking of Mad Men, hurrah for Elizabeth Moss on her DOUBLE NOMINATION. I think it’s fairly clear she’ll win for Top of the Lake and Claire Danes will take home actress in a drama. Though I would give Elizabeth Moss both awards in a heartbeat. And also throw in another for having played Zoey Bartlett. True story.

Oh, and, the oversight of Vincent Kartheisier in Mad Men is UNFORGIVABLE. Truly. He walked away with this season. (I’m also currently re-watching the show from the beginning, and he walks away with a lot of episodes. Why is he constantly overlooked? I don’t get it). NOT GREAT, BOB.

And if they could only nominate one actress for Game of Thrones, why the #^$&^ wasn’t it Michelle Fairley? Did they not watch her performance at the red wedding? Honestly?

Ok. Good things. They exist. Jason Bateman for Arrested Development. My nerdy little heart would just burst if he won. Unlikely, since Alec Baldwin needs to collect the awards for his final season. (He’s only won two Emmys, but can we talk about how he’s won the SAG award for the past SEVEN YEARS? I imagine he’s melting them all down to construct the UBER SAG AWARD to display in his front yard). Christina Hendricks for supporting actress, though I really believe she should have won for season 5. Jane Krakowski for 30 Rock!! Worlds of yes. I’d love to see Bill Hader trample the Modern Family actors because he made SNL watchable this season. (Not sure what we’ll all do now). Top of the Lake for all the things, though I know that it will be trampled by Behind the Candelabra.

I will end by saying BOB’S BURGERS FOR BEST ANIMATED PROGRAM. I’LL MAKE THE CAMPAIGN POSTERS.

*K

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